The Tai Therapy
by CyberSerpent
Summary: Taichi desperately wants a pair of rollerblades but his mom just wont buy it for him! So, determined, Taichi sets down a therapy center and wait for the cash to flow in! Problem is, will it flow in?
1. therapist?

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

A/n- okay, this is possibly my third humor after "Yu Yu Computer Chaos" and "Chikorita Confusion"…well, Tai opens a therapy center to earn money for getting rollerblades, yadda yadda.

_To Tashani_

The Tai Therapy__

** **

"Mom!It's on sale for 45% off!" Taichi Yagami begged, pointing at a pair of rollerblades winking at him teasingly thru a store window.

"No, Taichi, for the last time, no." his mom answered firmly.

Hikari pointed at a bestselling book in a bookshop, "Why not get a good book instead?"

Taichi snorted, "As if."

~*~

"You're WHAT?!" Sora yelled in Taichi's face.

"I'm opening a therapy center." He replied happily, setting up a small wooden stand that said, "Lemonade 10 cents The Tai Therapy 25 cents"

"You?Who never listens to anyone's problems?" Koushirou laughed.

Taichi glared at him, "Shut up."

Yamato remarked, "You?Who I once said had ice running thru your veins?"

Taichi glared at him too, "Shut up."

Sora joined in, "You?Who has hair twice the size of your brain?"

Taichi glared at her too, "SHUT UP."

~*~

Taichi folded his hands together and looked out of his little wooden stand."No one's coming…weird." He said to himself."I thought they'd be coming in by the hordes."

Just then a figure skipped past the stand.Taichi immediately recognized the burgundy hair and goggles.

"Hey Daisuke!" he shouted, "Wanna be my first customer?"

The boy looked past his shoulder at Taichi, "Therapy center?…thanks but no thanks." And walked away.

"You'll regret it!" Taichi called after him, "I mean it!"

~*~

"A whole hour wasted." Taichi grumbled to himself.

A hour had passed and still no one had came to his stand.After Daisuke passed, Miyako had strode past also, but she too, refused.

Then another familiar face came into view.

"Takeru!" Taichi called, waving his hand.

Takeru looked up, "Taichi?"

Taichi perched himself on the stool, tall and confident (he thinks)."Wanna be my first—and this is serious, folks, _first!—_ever customer?"

Takeru looked up at the sign, "Therapy?Um…you're a therapist?"

Taichi coughed, "Not professionally, but soon."

"Er…right.Well, I gotta go.See ya later." And without a second glance, Takeru hurried away also.

~*~

Taichi was snoozing in the afternoon sun, since no one had came by since Takeru, which was about a hour ago.

There was a sudden, "Mister, hey mister!" and Taichi's head snapped up.

_A customer?_

It was a little boy, staring at him, "Why are you sleepin'?" he asked, thumb in mouth.

Taichi sighed, "Never mind that.Now run along, go play in the sandbox or something."

The little boy stared at Taichi some more, "Wuzzat you have on your head?"

"My headband."

"No, the brown fuzzy stuff."

Taichi's face grew red, "THAT'S MY HAIR."

"Oh." The little boy nodded slowly and walked away.

~*~

Now it's been another hour, and so far no one has passed by since the little boy except Iori, who Taichi had presumed would've refused to therapy too.

"So, no customers?" a teasing voice sounded from behind him.

Taichi groaned and turned around to face Sora Takenouchi."Don't need to rub it in."

"Can't say I'm surprised." Sora taunted. "After all, who wants to pay a quarter for therapy from an immature boy when they can get it for free at school or something?"

Taichi retorted, "Well, I can probably understand them better than adults.You know, like about _love _problems." At the word "love" he glowered at Sora.

Sora's face colored, "A-ah, whatever, Taichi.Later days." And she left.

~*~

"Doin' good?" Hikari asked.

"Oh yeah, just great.Tons of customers." Taichi replied sarcastically.

"I can tell." Hikari nodded.

Taichi sighed, "Just leave me alone, wouldja?"

Hikari giggled, "Okay, okay, fine…I was about to offer advertising but, if you insist…" she shrugged.

"What didja say about advertising?" Taichi perked up.

"Welllllll," Hikari drawled, "I'm a pretty good photographer, and I can take pictures of you with *cough* patients *cough* and scan it in the computer, then have Koushirou print it out as a brochure and hand it out."

Taichi looked at her, wide-eyed, "You would do that for me?Seriously?"

"Anything as long you'll be my slave for a month." Hikari grinned.

"Fine, fine." He sighed.

~*~ 

"I want the photo of me super-sized on the front of the brochure." Taichi instructed.

Koushirou sighed, "This is the largest it could go, Taichi."

"Here, I'll make it go bigger." Taichi grabbed the mouse from Koushirou and skated it over the pad.

Koushirou's eyes followed the cursor on the screen and suddenly screamed, "NOT THAT BUTTON, TAICHIIII!"

"Oooooops." Taichi grinned sheepishly as the computer screen went blank.

Hikari punched the power button and the computer rebooted.

But another horrifying mistake was soon to be found.

"TAICHI YOU DESTROYED ALL MY FILES!" Koushirou screamed.

~*~

"Aw c'mon Koushirou, it was an accident!" Taichi tried to explain to his friend as they walked back from the repair shop.

Koushirou was ignoring him and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"_Koushirouuuuu!" _Taichi whined."It was a DAMN mistake!"

Hikari whirled around, "Taichi!"

Koushirou said thru gritted teeth, "Don't go cussin' cuz you messed up my laptop and all the important files on it and all the school reports I'm supposed to turn in and all the major stuff on it.You can just grab a knife and give it to me."

~*~

"Please please please Jyou?" Taichi begged on his knees.

Jyou Kido looked at him skeptically, "You sure you wont break my computer?"

Taichi nodded fervently, "'course I'm sure!I'm so sure I'm sure!"

Jyou sighed, "Well then, I suppose."

Hikari whispered, "Careful, he always says he's sure and then—KABLAM—something goes wrong for sure."

Jyou looked at Hikari."Thanks for the tip.I'll keep that in mind…definitely."

~*~

"You _said _you wont break my computer!" Jyou sputtered."Now you crashed all the files _including _the fifty-pages long school report I'm supposed to turn in _tomorrow!"_

Taichi looked shamefacedly at the ground and mumbled, "I said sorry."

"You think that'd help bring back my files?" Jyou shouted.

Hikari held up a hand, "Now, calm down, Jyou.And Taichi, I dunno how you're supposed to repay Jyou but maybe you can try writing a note to Jyou's teacher explaining why his file got erased."

"FIFTY-PAGES!" Jyou continued moaning.

~*~

"Okay, I suppose we can forget the brochure part." Hikari sighed as she crossed another name off the list.(Here's what the list looked like:

-People willing to help with brochure idea:

Koushirou Izumi

Jyou Kido

Yamato Ishida

Sora Takenouchi

Miyako Inoue

Takeru Takashi

Iori Hida

Daisuke Motomiya)

Taichi nodded grimly."Let's try something else then."

A/n- OMG, this is so ridiculously short!But I dunno how to continue it…so if you have any ideas for Taichi's get-moolah-fast method, please review or email me at [DigimonGoddess@aol.com][1]!

Later dayz

CyberSerpent .~ 

   [1]: mailto:DigimonGoddess@aol.com



	2. Please REVIEW and tell me!

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

A/n- okay, I've decided to take _______'s advice.But I need suggestions.

So, ::clears throat "professionally":: I need to you (the reader and hopefully soon-to-be reviewer) to review and tell me which Digi-Destined you want to see "therapied" by Taichi-chan!Here are some choices (I'll put the English names next to the Japanese ones in case some people get confused):

Hikari Yagami/Kari

Yamato Ishida/Matt

Sora Takenouchi/Sora

Daisuke Motomiya/Davis

Jun Motomiya/Jun

Takeru Takashi/TK

Iori Hida (o.O that'd be really weird, eh?)/Cody

Miyako Inoue/Yolei

Koushirou Izumi (you think he'd forgive him?)/Izzy

Jyou Kido (poor Jyou…)/Joe

Mimi Tachikawa (maybe on the phone…?)/Mimi

The little boy at the park (who asked what Taichi's hair was)

Agumon

Chibimon/Demiveemon

Poromon

Upamon

Patamon

Tailmon/Gatomon

Gabumon

Other: ______________

Well, review and put what choice you want!Or email me at [DigimonGoddess@aol.com][1] if you don't want to review!

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

   [1]: mailto:DigimonGoddess@aol.com



	3. The Therapies! (more coming soon)

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

Disclaimer- I don't own Digimon

A/n- okay, second chapter to The Tai Therapy!Enjoy!

Troubles 

** **

"Fine fine, here." Koushirou sighed."I'll tell you a method.We take your 'therapy routine' for a test.Each and every one of us.And whoever is satisfied with the result will keep coming."

"Is the test free?" Taichi asked cautiously.

"No duh." Hikari rolled her eyes, "No one would want to come if you had to pay!"

"I suppose you're right." Taichi sighed.

~*~

"So," Taichi cleared his throat "professionally", "you, Mr. Ishida, claims to have problems with the members of your band?"

Yamato rolled his eyes, "Shut up Taichi.And yes, I do have problems.Yukio, the drummer, insists that he be the lead singer, but I'm the lead singer!And Kin, the keyboard player, wants to let _violins _into the band!"

"Violins in a rock band?" Taichi raised his eyebrow.

Yamato nodded, "That's what I said, wasn't it?"

"Sheeeesh, what a lame-o.Well, how are things going with _Sora_?" Taichi said nastily.

Yamato's face grew red, "W-what do you mean?"

"Are you guys getting along fine or are you having arguments?" 

"Fine.And I don't think you should use the therapist excuse to probe into other people's private lives."

"Who me?Probe?Nuh-uh, you got the wrong guy here." Taichi smiled innocently.

~*~

Daisuke buried his face in his hands, mumbling, "Okay, I have love problems.Big deal."

Taichi immediately felt how this second goggle boy was feeling."I can relate," he sighed."Sora dissed me for Yama too."

Daisuke snapped his head up, "Who said I'm having love problems?"

"You just did." Taichi pointed out.

"Okay okay, so maybe I did.Anyway, just cuz Tekeru—"

"Takeru." Taichi corrected.

"I stand corrected." Daisuke said thru gritted teeth."Takeru.So, anyway, I saw with my own eyes Hikari staring at Tekeru, whatever, during math class and when he played basketball and made a shot, she practically swooned."

Taichi tapped his pencil against his notepad."I see.So your crush, my sister, is delibarately making you jealous—"

"YES!" Daisuke leapt out of his seat, fuming."She went to New York with Tekeru just to make me freakin JEALOUS!"

Taichi raised an eyebrow, "She doesn't like it when you blow your top."

"Okay okay, fine." Daisuke took a deep breath and sat down.

"We'll meet again the day after tomorrow afternoon at 2 o'clock if you're interested. Ten cents a hour." Taichi said.

"Yeah yeah sure sure." Daisuke mumbled.

~*~

Taichi sipped his lemonade, "Good afternoon Mrs. Ishida, it was nice of you to drop in."

Sora narrowed her eyes at him, "Shaddup about that Mrs. Ishida stuff before I whack you, lemonade and all."

"It was just a joke, Sora." Taichi explained, putting down his cup."Anyway, I don't think you need therapy, do you?"

"Well," Sora hesitated."I do."

"Say what?" Taichi looked surprised.

Sora smiled mischievously, "You see, Yama's so popular at school that some of his fans wont leave me alone.I know a particularly interesting girl named Jun Motomiya who would be thrilled to meet a 'cute guy', and I think I know the just the man." She looked pointedly into Taichi's eyes.

Taichi opened his mouth to say something back, but the minute he made eye contact with Sora, his mouth was left hanging open, unhinged.Somewhere in the pools of red that were Sora's eyes were the person that Taichi loved so much, the person who "dumped" Taichi for his best friend, the person who was Sora.

"Um, Taichi?" Sora leaned forward and closed his mouth.

Taichi blinked.

~*~

Taichi was taking an afternoon break when Daisuke ran up to his stand, wheezing for breath, "T-Taichi-sama ::wheeze:: you-you gotta see ::gasp:: Chi-Chibimon a-and ::wheeze:: Upamon!"

Taichi swallowed his ham sandwich, "Why?"

"They're devouring Miyako's family's thrift store's food aisle!" 

Taichi wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "Well since you called me Taichi-sama and all, I guess I'll help.But I still don't know why you're asking me instead of Sora or somebody."

"Just hurry up."

~*~

"Miya?Why are the sodas suddenly disappearing?I know you have friends that need food but you can't possibly expect us to provide everything especially when we're running low of supplies!" Mrs. Inoue looked suspiciously at Miyako, who was smiling nervously, standing next to Iori, Ken, Takeru, and Hikari.(They were forming a line to block the food aisle which was completely cleaned out)

"Uh-ah, Miz Inoue…I can explain." Ken started nervously."You see, some people from our class needed food for our class outing and so Miya-chan generously volunteered—" Ken was stopped by a sudden death glare from Miyako.

"Miya, you know perfectly well we told you not to volunteer for anymore all-you-can-eats from the class!" Mrs. Inoue glowered at Miyako.

Upamon's head poked out from behind Iori's ankles, "Is she mad?"

Iori's eyes widened and he did a quick kick flip so Upamon was kicked back in behind the line.

Poromon fluttered up to Miyako's shoulder as he whispered, "_Is _your mom mad, Miya?"

Miyako laughed nervously and pushed her In-Training Digimon back down before her mother saw it.

Chibimon whimpered softly from inside Hikari's backpack, "Where's Daisuke?I want him to come!_Waiiii!_Where's Daisuke?!?!"

Hikari froze.

Mrs. Inoue looked at Hikari, "Is something wrong, dear?"

Hikari giggled nervously, "Uh, no, Mrs. Inoue.I, uh, just want Daisuke to come, yeah, that's it.I miss Daisuke, I want him to come, yeah!"

"You serious, Hikari-chan?" Daisuke grinned goofily as he burst in the store with Taichi.

Hikari shot a death glare.

"Um, Mrs. Inoue, I'm sure I can explain about Miya-chan's food problem.Let's talk about this in da back, shall we?" Taichi turned on the boyish charm (if he had any.Let's just say that if _anyone _had boyish charm Yama would be the one, quoting my friend Joyce.) and pushed Mrs. Inoue to the back of her store.

"Hey that went pretty well." Hikari said, shrugging.

"Daisuke!" Chibimon cried blissfully, leaping into the boy's arms.

"Oh, so it was you missin me, not Hikari." Daisuke said disappointedly.

~*~

Taichi folded his arms, a glint of madness in his eyes as his said, "Alright, pay up."

Miyako, Ken, Iori, Takeru, Daisuke, and Hikari all tossed in some coins.

"Spank you, spank you all." Taichi gathered up his payment and counted them out.Nearly all were pennies."Forty cents??Heck, I can't even get a soda at 7-Eleven from this!" Taichi moaned.

"It's all we have." Hikari explained, turning her pockets inside-out.

~* Yagami residence, 7:00PM *~

The phone rang and Taichi ran to get it.It was Sora.

"Hello?" he said.

"Helllllo, loverboy!Have I got the date—_and _therapy patient for you!" Sora grinned at the other end.

"It better not be Jun." Taichi spat.

"Oh, um, no…it's…Junie!Yeah, Junie!"

"Great trick, too bad it doesn't work."

"Well she's really nice (once you get to know her anyways), and I think she's really psyched to meet you."

"Yeah yeah whatever, as long as she's a customer.I'll meet her tomorrow at 12 noon sharp, at King's Coffee Place."

"Deal."

~*~

Jun Motomiya arrived at King's Coffee Place at the exact time Taichi did.She reserved a spot for two next to the tropical fish tank.

Taichi reserved a place for two right next to Jun's table.

They sat there for about 20 minutes before both standing up at the same time and angrily muttering, "He/she stood me up!"

"Eh?" they stared at each other.

"Are you—" they started together.

"You go first." Jun said.

"No, you." Taichi replied.

"_No, _you."

"You."

"You."

"_You."_

"**You.**"

"YOU."

"**YOU.**"

"**_YOU._**"

"**_YOU._**"

"Okay okay.Are you Jun?" Taichi asked.

"Yep, and are you Taichi?" Jun answered.

"Yup."

They spent 5 minutes staring at each other again.

"I AM GONNA KILL SORA!" they both exclaimed at the same time.

"Eh?" they stared at each other _again._

~*~

"The quote quote blind quote quote date didn't go off too well, Sora." Taichi complained into the phone.

"No surprise, you two have possibly the same personality, and that's not good in love." Sora scoffed into the phone.

A/n- finally, chapter two is complete!Now, wait for ch. 3, okie?

Later dayz

CyberSerpent .~

PS. I'm looking for fans of Rurouni Kenshin!Please email me at [RKtomoe@aol.com][1] or [tomoechan@soujiro.every1.net][2] if you have any info on it, I need their English names and the reassurement that they DO air in America and what channel and what time.(Rurouni Kenshin in America is called Samurai X, and from what I've heard, they're all Japanese with English subtitles.)

   [1]: mailto:RKtomoe@aol.com
   [2]: mailto:tomoechan@soujiro.every1.net



End file.
